I needed help. Since my last post on March 15th, I’ve been doing something instead of writing that was the absolute right thing for me to be doing. I’ve been fully engaged and committed in being an advocate and caretaker to my dad. He went into the hospital at the end of December and it’s been five months of terror watching the care system that supposed to help, in his case, do so much to hurt him. A long story, too long to go into here, and I don’t want to fill up my writing blog with the sad tale. Although, one day I might want to create another blog to express my disgust, anger and disappointment over what we’ve been going through as a family. Nuff said on that topic for now.
The absolute truth is that I don’t regret the time away from here, which was used to focus on doing the right thing of being fully present as a daughter to a man who has been a fantastic dad. I regret that other folks weren’t as equipped or were too negligent to acknowledge how careful they should have been with someone we treasured so. I’m still a faith-filled, blessed and hopeful person who over the past months have read or seen on the TV news other families going through some really awful situations. Terrible things, and I pray they will somehow, someday find peace, joy and healing.
The thing is, while dealing with all of the unexpected challenges in my own life right now, I have never stopped wanting to write. That—is another absolute truth I’ve had to stop ignoring, stop putting aside, because I was too mentally or physically exhausted from long days of work and night shifts of being by my dad’s bedside.
Hence, I realized I was bound to two very right things, which were colliding. One of those right things; being a good daughter was getting all of my energy and attention. While the other right thing—living out my heart’s desire to write, to be a writer, to publish stories I think some folks might really like— was getting no time or attention.
There was little while in there when I had real trouble reconciling celebrating my writing successes (yes, I did finish my novella) when I was having so little success in making things better for my dad. Not that I wasn’t putting in the effort to ‘fix’ things for him, but I reached a point where I realized that not writing was not the proper response to the situation I was in. If anything, not writing, was adding to my state of being– helpless. So here I am. Back on my journey, and feeling good to have come out of my writing slump.
This step wasn’t easy, and I recognized right off, to get back on track, I needed help. Here’s the lesson fellow newbies— if you, on your own journey find yourself in the middle of a ‘two rights colliding storm’—get help! I went searching for a writing coach and soon found out they were out of my price range, and many seem to be offering assistance to writers to improve their writing (not that I don’t need that kind of help.J) Someday down the road, I might seek out a coach to point out for me what I should immediately STOP doing, and what I should immediately START doing! But right now—I need help to just get the words outta me. I needed assistance with time management, direction to find the places in my day to write when my life seemed to be too busy to accommodate my writing. And, of course- I craved that daily encouragement to keep me going at the task. I found it. It’s going to cost some cash, but having joined a supportive writing community with a focus on teaching you how to increase your production, in just a few days, it’s already paying off. I’m writing!
Waiting for a flood of creativity to suddenly appear, wash over me, and make me a writer didn’t. Taking even five, ten, fifteen minutes a day and being accountable for whatever time you do commit to, until I incorporate and adapt the habit of working on my WIPs, is a manageable way of tackling my procrastination problems.
I did finish that novella in 30 days! Hand wrote it into an 8 x 11 Staples wirebound notebook that is falling apart from being carried with me everywhere I went. I’m happy with the story, and thrilled that I finally have “Tending Deacon’s Garden” on the pages! Yes, it’s going to be a task typing it up, but—I’ll do it!
I’ve sold close to another 45 ebooks —so, yeah for that! I’ll get my new sales totals on here soon. Also, I had mentioned that I would be checking on why I hadn’t received any royalty payments from Amazon—I did that. You have to have royalties of at least $100 before they cut you a check or deposit funds into your paypal account. I was at $96 and change, so, I should be seeing that money sometime soon. All Romance Ebooks did deposit $18.36 into my paypal last week. Nice.
Well, my friends, I’ve told you my tale. I know I’m not the first writer, and won’t be the last one who has trouble sneak up and overtake them. Maybe someday some struggling writer will happen upon this post, just at the point where they have ‘two right things colliding’. Maybe someone reading right this entry today is wondering if they too can find their way back to writing. Consider this– if you’re going it alone– go out and search for a writing community, my friends! I did, and ya know what I discovered? Many authors, new or established—have hardships. They have troubles, they have fear, they have time management issues, they have anxiety. Fears, troubles and anxieties very much like my own. They struggle along, and– they write.
And—they even find time to encourage me to do the same. Just what I needed to get up, dust myself off and get back to work.
FYI, I also revised a chapter in my WIP “I See You” and will do another one this week. I’m back on target to self-publish this year—wonderful!
So – keep writing, people!!
P.S.—Look out for another one of my freebie shorts this weekend. Just a show of my appreciation for how patient you’ve been with me.